The year of the Homo-sentimentalis

Recently the Joint Council for Qualifications, which represents the three exam boards in England, came up with certain guidelines for students appearing in the GSCE or A-level examination (class X and XII in India):

1. Students will get maximum 5% extra points if a parent or close family member died recently
2. Max 4% extra points if the deceased is a more distant relative
3. 2% extra if the house pet dies on examination day
4. 1% extra if the pet died a day before exam
5. 3% extra if the student witnesses a distressing event on examination day
6. 3% extra also for a freshly broken limb or asthma attack
7. 1% extra if student is suffering from headache on exam day

GAAAAAAAAAASP....
Of course, all these have been framed with the best intentions. But my wicked, sick and sunless mind immediately tried to work out the possible consequences. For example in a hyper-competitive world, won't people be more pro-active in getting these extras? Will kids start muredering their pets, distant relatives, close relatives and parents? As well as get a headache while watching these distressing events the same day, breaking a limb or two in the process? Or will samaritan parents, distant relatives, and pets themselves sacrifice their lives on exam day? Whatever be the way to implement, there could be crisis situation in hospitals, police stations and at Hampstead Heath. So England, please gear up your infrastructure, just in case.