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Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Chappell, Mahabharatha and TV channels

So the jury is still out there on whether Greg Chappel showed the finger as an insult, as an injury, or as an insult to injury, or may be a part of the plan to prepare India for the World Cup. Though being in US currently, I was not able to see it on TV, I am sure that his gesture had been analyzed a thousand times on Indian news channels. And I wonder what would have happened to our good old Mahabharatha if they had the TV channels in those days.

Well, first of all, the Mahabharatha wouldn’t have happened at all. Because Duryodhana would have got away saying that his gesture to Draupadi to sit on his lap was actually him advertising for a “before” situation of his Daad, Khaaj, Khujli during the commercial break in the Chausar match. And after the dumbing down and irrelevance that comes through countless analysis on TV, everyone including Draupadi and Bhima would have forgotten the whole incident. But still if it ended up causing the Mahabharatha wars; who would have done Sanjay’s job giving live commentary from the battle scene to Dhritarashtra? What would have been Dhritarashtra’s state if he had a Navjot Sidhu instead, who says poems and maxims even while burping? Would Dhritarashta liked to have heard “Extra Innings”, since he couldn’t have seen Mandeera Bedi anyways?

Would the Agyatavasa still have been possible with the papparazi chasing the Panadavas during the exile period. How would a Pat Robertson, the guiding light of the Christian right, have reacted, if he saw Arjuna dressed as a transvestite on FOX TV?

And what about sting operations by India TV? Those guys would have a ball? Together with Mahesh Bhatt, they would have surely figured out how Kunti and Gandhari gave such unusual births. And hidden cameras would have figured out the real deal between Draupadi and the five husbands.

By the way, who invented the finger gesture? I am sure it was shown first in India, by the legendary Angulimal who killed people, chopped off their middle fingers, made a garland of those fingers, and flaunted it on his neck as a big old “F**K U” to the entire society of his time.

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