Jane Goodall and Ram Setu

So what built Ram Setu? Organic forces (read monkeys) or inorganic forces? Apparently no one can decide. Some day, some report gives the monkeys an upper hand; another day, some other report takes away this glory from them. All the same, I am firmly in support for letting the Setu remain as it is. After all, in India it’s no longer safe to mess around with monkeys. They have almost had enough with us humans, appalled at the fact that while the majority religion in India supposedly reveres them, in real life their best career option is to dance around as Mithun Chakravorty’s sidekick. Enraged, the Monkey Man caused mayhem in Delhi in 2001. And last year, monkeys ambushed the ministry of defense in a Maoist style attack, taking away sensitive documents. A nuclear and scatological attack from the monkeys could be eminent if someone messes with the Ram setu now.

The left wing and some anti-Brahmin Dravidian political parties have opposed the monkey theory of real estate development. But then they realize that taking a stance against the majority religion is much less risky than antagonizing the minority religion on issues such as women’s rights, universal laws and general tolerance. After all, monkeys are yet to become suicide bombers or kill someone in Theo Van Gogh style. On the other right wing parties are exploring using the monkey theory to justify their pet projects such as the Sardar Sarovar Dam. The ruling congress party has taken the pragmatic stance of supporting both sides of the argument.

With contrasting reports coming from subject matter experts like the ASI, GSI, BJP, DMK, CPI (M) etc., the common man has become confused to the extent of imagining Howrah Bridge to be a coral formation. But then we have always been asking the wrong people. To understand the true nature of the Setu, we should immediately take the opinion of Jane Goodall, who discovered the use of tools among chimpanzees. Only she can tell whether monkeys could have built the structure. And by the way, have we ever spared a thought about Jamboban, the most charismatic and under-rated character in our mythologies?