Jolie ki bacchi

Jolie-Pitt’s baby girl’s birth has been greeted with much greater enthusiasm by mankind than the mythical birth of Jesus. While the three Magi went to cover the birth of Jesus, hundreds of paparazzi are covering this historical and religious event. General public, the world over, have sighed with relief at the safe birth of the last messiah in Namibia. The messiah’s birth has had immediate positive effects on mankind- like increasing the GDP of poor Namibia.

The heathens have scoffed at this ephemeral birth by saying that it’s all a celebrity-media plot to mutually propel each other. Now come-on you heathens, if the Jolie-Pitts really wanted to make money out of all this, they could have done many more things, like tapping the huge market for celebrity baby’s used diapers, poo and burped-out milk. You heathens may retort that the photographs of the new born baby would fetch millions of dollars. But then if works by Monet, Van Gogh, or even apna MF Hussain can fetch millions, why should this haloed work of art have a cheaper fate? Heathens also allege that if Jolie-Pitts were serious about privacy, they would have chosen some other place for the birth rather than Namibia, where the security guards are inexperienced and easily corruptible; but then the messiah was destined to born in the continent of human origin.

The heathens also claim that the only person who has been short-changed in all these is the baby herself. She has had no say over how she is being branded. But then most messiahs have been short-changed anyways.

P.S. For a detailed look at how heathens are trying to malign celebritiy-media links, read this Economist article.

Artwork: Ken Dedes by Jim Supangkat