I love Baba Ramdev. He reminds me so much of my childhood days. When I was a kid, with my amygdala still working, I had some zeal and that was to cure the world of its owes. I figured out that tuberculosis and cancer were the deadliest diseases (AIDS then was a misspelt version of what we used to get from first world countries, and malaria could be prevented by slapping). So I took cheap digestive liquids from railway dispensary, mixed it with paste of hibiscus flower and added some water. Here was my elixir of life which I tested on my family for cyto-toxicity. Satisfied I would stack up bottles of these and proudly talk about this achievement to my father’s friends; and they would not laugh as a sign of respect to my innocence. To add to my list I would claim to have found new planets, go on hunting trips with a toy gun, and of course make prophesies.
Ramdev shows the same traits. He is like a kid suddenly exposed to the possibilities of the world. He speaks of capital punishment, Gandhi, cure for AIDS, poverty and what not. Stung by the zeal of a kid, he has often strayed from his area of specialization and has been rebuked as a result. He has become the proverbial monkey with a typewriter. But here are the real issues he must focus on (and he must stick to yoga):
- Teach Indian batsmen some yoga tricks which may help them play the short ball
- Find cure for more pressing problems for his target segment- the Gujarati middle aged women, and I am talking of acidity, arthritis and constipation, not AIDS
- Teach Shahid and Kareena yoga tricks to kiss in a less disgusting way
- Teach the populace how not to hurt oneself while passing money below the table to a corrupt babu
- Help Mumbaikars suck in their paunch for some more space in the local trains
- Teach Delhiites yoga tricks to break sealing of unauthorized shops and reassemble it when the police are back
- Teach our neighboring Bangladeshi ways to cross over the barb-wire fence without tearing their lungis
- Teach some stretching exercises to Sunny Deol and Sanjay Dutt to improve their dancing
- Teach Indians how to count chickens before they hatch along with Yoga breathing exercises (yes, Arindam Chowdhury’s lessons have become invalid after the bird-flu pogroms, fresh perspective is needed)
nice :) we all have our "doing the world good" dreams as kids - most of us outgrow them - a frew lucky ones learn to make money out of them - like the baba!
but I liked the last idea - counting chickens - somewhat like deep breathing exercised for women about to deliver babies...?
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