But now that we have so many Indians traveling abroad, many foreigners coming to
This army will employ all these agitated brothers and sisters who have so earnestly been protecting our culture. They will be deployed in all over
The RMF will work together with our news channels which have done a stellar job in relaying any violations to our culture, e.g. by showing the kiss scene over 50 million times yesterday. The RMF will help the busy news channels uncover practices that show the good aspects of Indian culture: Casteist practices for instance as beautifully executed in Khairlanji where a Dalit family was massacred by caste people after they were paraded naked, the women in the family were repeatedly raped, the sons in the family asked to mate with their own sisters and upon refusal, their genitals crushed by stone and tricks, all four killed and then their bodies thrown into a canal (though this last practice was against majority Indian tradition of burning the dead). The RMF will carry out similar incidents in line with our Indian culture and get the news channels to show it 50 million times.
The RMF will also help monitor schools to force-implement good suggestions by the BJP, like surya-namaskara and saraswati vandana. Venkiah Naidu was so right in saying, while releasing BJP’s election manifesto, that a surya namaskara has no religious connotations but is only a practice good for our health. The RMF will help everyone get the slim waistline of Venkiah Naidu.
You may ask why we need a state funded RMF? Come on, have you ever spared a thought for our reactionary brothers and sisters who have to take time off their jobs to go out in the street and burn the effigies of the morally corrupt? At the least, we lazy citizens need to compensate them; after all they ensure our daughters will be saved from a Richard Gere kiss in such an awkward pose thus protecting them from a slipped disc. In fact I propose a Param Moral Chakra (in lines with Param Veer Chakra) for outstanding acts of bravery by RMF soldiers, acts like smashing a window while climbing over a gate with pointed metal.
Didn’t some book say, yada yada hi..whatever..