Hello ladies!!! I am a banker. Alright, alright; you want to look away right. That hairy dog there is more interesting to look at right! But hey, I am yet to be laid off you know. Yes, I still have my job and I will stay in this cafe and have a drink. Even though all of you are after me to humiliate me as much as you can. Recession, my ass, you sadistic mediocre people are having your best time ever, insulting us, blaming us for everything from your cough to your son’s poor grades, and forcing on us a lifestyle we simply don’t deserve.
Yes, that Obama goes on national television to say that I can’t be paid more than what he earns. His approval rating goes up by 10% points. I say that his salary can’t be more than what Joe the plumber earns. How many of you approve of me now, huh? Isn’t Obama more dependent on tax payer’s money than I am? Alright, I know all this is too technical for you all, what you sarcastically like to coin as “opaque financial wizardry”. Yeah right, how can I help you if half of you people still believe that evolution is false? For you, even the flow of tap water would be “transparent physical miracle”. Go, mow your lawns.
So what would you like to do to me next? Pass a law through the Congress to force me to eat at McDonalds every day? Or would you be satiated if your senators pass a law to force my kids to be enrolled in those shitty California schools only where teachers have more sit-ins than students? Or would you bloody consumer’s confidence rise if you can pass a law to make my credit cards work only at Wal Mart? Yeah, pass as many bail-out laws as you can. This is your day, winner’s justice. Have fun at my expense. I can’t even take a bloody cold medicine. They made fun of the Japanese finance minister for that. Oh, so now our sorts cannot sleep as well, huh? Yes, we can.
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Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Sermon at the cafe (of a banker)
Labels:
Humour
2 comments:
not as funny :(
"Yeah, pass as many bail-out laws as you can. This is your day, winner’s justice. Have fun at my expense."
Huh? Considering the bankers are actually benefiting from those bailouts - its their bloody failures that we're paying for in bailout money, so their banks can be kept functioning despite their giga-fuck-ups - this doesnt even make sense as a joke.s
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