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Journeys with the caterpillar: Travelling through the islands of Flores
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Saturday, October 01, 2005

Solutions and Quick fixes for the morally correct

Indian law makers and law enforcers are so hassled nowadays. Having reduced crime rates to zero (is it so??), they thought that they could rest for a while. But then they saw what was happening at the dance bars at Mumbai; some people at Park Chennai threw a wild party; girls at Anna university were walking scott-free wearing jeans; Sania Mirza was playing tennis wearing similar dress as all the other ladies players; actress Khusboo said a thing or two about pre-marital sex; farmers kept on having children; and the decade long Madhu Sapre - Milind Soman case was yet to be closed. And so our law makers and enforcers responded. Most people supported them overwhelmingly. And I started wondering whether most Indians are born asexually (I mean like some plants, amoeba, earthworms etc.); otherwise why so much surprise and shock when others give even the slightest hint of sex.

Anyways, my heart goes out to our law makers and enforcers. After all, controlling the sexual urges of a population over a billion ain't no easy, man. So here are my recommendations which we all responsible citizens must follow to reduce their burden:
1) Lets all contribute to the Morally correct fund or Tax- this money will provide funds to scientists to develop effective methods of asexual reproduction like cloning, grafting, hermaphrodatization etc.
2) Till such effective means of asexual reproduction are developed:
a) Forget jeans, skirts, or even a veil; all women must wear body length cylindrical steel containers
b) All men must get vaccinated against testosterone urges right after birth. Scientists: please make this vaccine
c) People must make love sparsely- even if they do, they must always wear body length clothes and not look at the partner during the act
3) After cloning, grafting etc. are effective, we can consider castrating males and females right after childbirth.

And I am sure gradually evolution will take control. By the way, have you ever wondered what are those pot-bellies fashioned by most male law makers and enforcers? Are they male breasts or a state of perennial overblown excitement? Anyways...they know best.


Anonymous said...

"All men must get vaccinated against testosterone urges right after birth" - er, I assume these men were also born - asexually - for want of a better word - as in, found and dopped at the right house by the story - or however else male babies can be conceived w/o sex :)

neha vish said...

How abt putting those men in the cylinders instead? :) Just for the fun of it. *Evil Grin*

Shivaji said...


Very valid suggestion indeed.

Prahalathan said...

The problem is the people who do the Moral Policing are from the Generation before us. Everything will change with time I guess. But then It'll be too late for us.